You Too Can Write A How-To Book (or eBook)
Submitted by
fawcett
Are you aware that how-to books are among
the easiest books to write? Yes, that’s right, they really are!
After all, how hard can it be to write about something you already know really well, something that you are passionate about? Heck, you may not even need to do any research! What other kind of author has that luxury? As I say on my ebook on the subject, I am a firm believer that 99% of people who have specific knowledge of ANY subject, coupled with a passion to share that knowledge with others, are natural how-to authors. In fact, as I state in the Introduction to my book… “If you can organize your thoughts enough to explain something to someone, and then write that down in simple step-by-step terms, you too can be a how-to author.” That’s right. How-to books can be written by anyone who is capable of writing down what they are “speaking” as they explain to someone all about something that is near and dear to their heart. It really is that simple. And the beauty of writing how-to books is that you already have the knowledge inside of you! Most how-to books are written by “experts” in a particular subject. The cool part about this is that each and every one of us is an expert in some, or many areas! And that includes you! YES, YOU ARE An Expert… Really, you are! You possess a unique combination of knowledge and valuable life experience that no one else on this planet possesses. In fact, you are the only one truly qualified to write about your knowledge and experience from your own unique perspective. And that last phrase — “from your own unique perspective” — is a very important one. It’s important because “how-to” books are all about people sharing their individual unique take on something. And it really doesn’t matter what that something is. Think about it. What are your big interests and/or activities in life? What’s your favorite hobby, or your preferred sport or leisure activity. What do you excel in at the office? What books and magazines do you seek out? What subjects are guaranteed to grab your attention in any situation, or when depicted in the media? What are you good at - at work and/or at play? On what subjects do friends, family members, and co-workers constantly seek your advice and/or expertise? Do you have valuable life experience to bring to the table? Now that you’ve thought about it, I bet you’re beginning to realize that you are indeed an “expert” on numerous subjects — aren’t you? Seriously, whether you’re an avid gardener, a fanatical sports fan, an obsessed collector of “stuff”, a jazz pianist, a weekend carpenter, or a card maker; it doesn’t matter what your subject. YOU ARE AN EXPERT at those things that you love and are good at doing. VLE Does Count! Whatever you do, make sure you don’t discount your own personal “valuable life experience”. In fact, VLE is the basis for almost All self-help books. After all, what are self-help books except “how-to” books about how to live life. And in these days of Oprah, Dr. Phil, Chicken Soup Books, and Reality TV, I don’t have to tell you how marketable VLE is! In fact, it was Oprah who said you can “Turn your wounds into words”. DON'T Underestimate Yourself… Remember, YOU DO NOT have to be the world’s foremost authority on your particular subject(s). As long as you have a keen interest in your topic and have acquired an above average knowledge of it, you are in a position to write about it from your own unique perspective. Believe me, there are thousands of people out there ready and waiting to hear from people just like you who offer new knowledge and fresh perspectives on your shared special area of interest. All you need to be able to do is write down what would naturally come out of your mouth if you were explaining your favorite subject to a friend, colleague, or family member. BOTTOM LINE? Don’t sell yourself short. Five years ago I didn’t even know what a “how-to book” was. Now I’ve written 12 of them. Really! I’m willing to bet that you too have more “how-to” books in you than you ever imagined. About the Author
Copyright © Shaun R. Fawcett
Shaun Fawcett is the author of numerous how-to books on everyday practical writing. He also writes about how to create and publish books and ebooks. His latest book “How To Write A Book (or eBook) About Your Favorite Hobby, Interest or Activity" can be found at: http://HowToWriteHowTo.com Pay-Per-Click Account Management - 10 Mistakes Most Companies Make with Google™
Submitted by
TSEO
Top 10 Mistakes Most Companies Make with
their Google™ Pay-Per-Click Account Management
Pay-per-click account management (Google™ Adwords or otherwise) is a challenging role because of the complexity, real-time action, and consistent evolution. We’ve all made our mistakes with Google™ Adwords, however, one mistake could cost you $1000s in higher CPCs (cost-per-clicks) or higher CPA (cost-per- acquisition, meaning the total Advertising cost to capture each lead or sale.) Today, I’d like to focus on the Google™ search network, and the top 10 mistakes companies make. They are: 1. Bidding for the number 1 position. 2. Solely geo-relating campaigns by Country. 3. Using only broad keyword searches. 4. Excluding the exact keywords in their ad title, copy, and URL. 5. Running only one Ad at a time. 6. Ads set to send visitors to their homepage by default. 7. Oversimplifying the organization of their account structure. 8. Inability to prove or report a return on investment (ROI.) 9. Bidding on high-priced keywords with low CTRs. 10. Under-educating themselves about Google™ Adwords. Don’t worry, help is just below… How to “Do-it-Yourself” – Fixing a Costly Mistake Below are 10 ways to increase your Google™ Adwords PPC (pay-per-click) account management effectiveness, and save your company $1000s. How will they save you money? The below suggestions (following) will increase your CTRs (click through ratio) through precise targeting. Accordingly, Google™ rewards a higher CTR by decreasing your CPC (cost-per-click), resulting in more sales converting for an overall lower CPA (cost-per- acquisition.) 1.“We’re number two, we’re number two.” Depending on the number of Google™ highlighted "sponsored links” on your SERP (search engine results page), your goal is to be the highlighted sponsor link (paid Ad) positioned right above the organic searches (non-paid listing) or the first sponsored link on the right side of “sponsored links”. Stay in the positions of 2 to 5 (which are often more profitable than number one) or an average position of 2.5. 2. “Local customers." Always try to “geo-relate” your campaign by city, state/province, or nation. By using the “Location Targeting Options” for a particular city (or state), you exclude areas of the state or country that are unlikely to buy your product or service. You also have the advantage of the city’s name (or state’s name) appearing below your ad. 3.“Exclude tire kickers.” To exclude visitors or searches unlikely to buy your product or click on your ad, use brackets for exact [keyword] matches or hyphens “-“ to use negative words. Both will help exclude keywords/phrases such as “free”. 4. “The keywords are the key.” Always add the keyword to your Ad’s title and copy because the keyword will appear bolded and say to the searcher, “Click me, I am relevant to what you are looking for.” Additionally, the keywords will increase your Google™ Quality Score, reducing your minimum CPC to active your keyword. 5. “Let the best Ad win.” Did you know you could run multiple Ads at the same time, and for the same Ad group? By simply adding a new Ad under the “Ad Variations” tab, you will be able to test what Ad works best for you. 6. “Give them what they want.” Save your visitors’ time, and ensure they get what they want, by sending them to the exact page (landing page) that relates to your Ad’s keyword. 7.“More specific please.” Generally when I create a Google™ Account for a client I have 3 services or products, which I Geo-relate individually for both local (cities), state, and international. Thus, I usually start off with 9 campaigns, giving each campaign and Ad Group a descriptive name to help me manage the account without memorizing what each of Ad Groups includes. For maximum effectiveness, group your keyword list into similar items, either by product/service line or keyword theme, for example: corporate team building, team building activity, team building event. You could have 2 to 50 Ad groups per campaign, and an average total of 100 Ad groups per account (Google™ maximum.) 8.“Results are the name of the game.” To increase and improve your Return on Ad Spend (ROAS), if you haven’t already, I highly recommend installing your Google™ “conversion page code.” 9. “Focus and finish.” If you implement a more specific pay-per-click account management structure (suggestion #7 above), you can bid on competitive words by getting higher CTRs and still get fairly low CPAs. If you still have higher CTRs (greater than 5%) and your CPAs are high (greater than $20), then delete the keywords within the Ad groups, use more specific keywords or delete the Ad group altogether. 10. “Professional help.” Without any form of payment from Google™, we recommend you become a Google™ Qualified Adwords Professional by investing 9 to 15 hours at the Google™ Learning Center – home of the best e-course this author has ever taken. Otherwise hire a Google™ Qualified Adwords Professional to save you the time, money, and frustration. For the love of the web, I sincerely hope you implement the above 10 pay-per-click account management suggestions. By doing so you could save 25% to 400% in CPCs and CPAs, while increasing your leads and clicks by 25% to 200%. About the Author
JP Richards is a Google™ Qualified Adwords
Professional & Search Engine Optimization (SEO) Consultant
Moving Beyond a Cancer Diagnosis
Probably one of the most feared diagnoses for women is
that of breast cancer. It violates ones feminity, as
well as threatens your life. It is a formidable
opponent. However, with work, breast cancer does not
need to be the focus of your life.
So how does one move past this diagnosis? Well, it is not easy. In the beginning, you must ensure that you are receiving the utmost of care - preferably at a major hospital that deals specifically with breast cancer. In my case, I was lucky to be referred to Mass General, where dedicated teams of doctors reviewed your case and helped to recommend treatment. My team included a radiologist, surgeon and oncologist. You want to go where the doctors only specialize in breast cancer...believe it or not, it is a full time specialty for the best in the medical practice. Studies have shown that these major metropolitan hospitals have a higher survival rate - as it is what they do day after day. Once you have gone through all of the recommended treatments, you need to take stock of your life. Make sure that you focus on what is important to you. There are some of us that will have good outcomes and some which will have challenging circumstances. Making the most of every day is critical - as we never know what the future will bring. Nothing will be gained by obsessing about what if's - focus on the present. After several years out from diagnosis and treatment, one begins to let go of the terror that this disease brings about. You find that days pass without a thought of breast cancer - your goal at this stage. In making the most out of your life and focusing your attention away from this disease, you will find more satisfaction and happiness. None of us has a guarantee in this life, but it would be a shame not to make the most of the time we have here. Live healthy and happy. The author is a 2 year breast cancer survivor and owner of an internet based business, Office Supply Stop - http://www.officesupplystop.com
Small Business Start Up Costs: How Deep Are Your
Pockets?
One of the challenges of planning and getting a new business
off the ground is to establish what your start up costs are
going to be. At best, its going to be a stab in the dark or
a wild guess, but there are some specific steps you can take
to make your costing more realistic.
Why Estimate Your Costs? But, before we look at where you can get help, we should consider why you need to get your estimate of start up costs to be as close to reality as possible. Firstly, if you are seeking bank finance the dreaded Business Plan is required! The Bank Manager is not going to be impressed by a comment such as,I think my start up costs are going to be around £10,000 but hey, who knows Secondly, you need to go into any new venture with your eyes open. You have to be as sure as you can on how much its going to cost to get your new business started. There is nothing worse than getting 90% of the way there, only to fall at the last hurdle because you didn't cater for one major expense. Lastly, as a start up you are likely to only have a limited pot of money available. You have to prioritize which costs are essential and which can be delayed until the business is more established. You can only do this if you have researched and understand what your costs are going to be. Where Can You Go For Help? Its easy to think that you have a good idea of what your start up costs are likely to be, but do you really? Once you think about it, a whole can of worms starts to open! But there are sources of help you can turn to, which will ensure that you don't face oblivion within the first few weeks. A good starting point is your countries government support and business advice agency. These are government funded organizations which are there to provide free and impartial advice on all aspects of running a business. Call and book an appointment to see an advisor. They will have a wide range of material and experience which will give you a good grounding in the costs you will have to cover. The service is usually free, so that's one cost you won't have to worry about! Chamber of Commerce or Local Business Club/Group If you have a local arm of the Chamber of Commerce or any formal or informal business group, then they are a good source of knowledge and information. Within the group you will find a wealth of experience and people who have been through it all good times and bad times! You may be lucky enough to attend a meeting when a speaker is there on just the topic you are looking for. Colleagues and Other Business Owners If you don't have a club or group you can attend, then seek out business people yourself. Ask all your contacts to tell you about their start up experiences. What costs they budgeted for; what costs they didn't budget for; where they overspent. Genuine business people are usually happy to share their experiences and give you advice. Listen to what they have to say and take note. If you don't have a circle of business contacts, put the word out to all your personal friends. A few of them will have friends or relatives who are in business on their own. Ask for an introduction or referral. This will warm them up before you ask your searching questions. Bank Business Guides Many Banks provide comprehensive brochures on starting up in business. They usually contain a Business Plan template which will include a section on start up costs. Some go further and produce guides for specific industries and sectors. They provide in depth analysis about the business, the market, the competition and estimated start up costs. Call in to your local Bank and ask to see the Small Business Manager/Advisor. Suppliers If you are looking to cost your raw materials or partly finished stock for buy in then, as a key part of your financing, call your potential suppliers and ask for quotations. Tell them that you are starting up and they should be more than helpful, after all you could be a potential customer! Examples of Start Up Costs If you haven't got the time to try any of the above (and there's no reason why you shouldn't find some time!) here are some of the key costs you will have to cover: · Equipment · Fixtures and fittings · Installation · Initial stock · Advertising · Decoration · Legal and other professional fees · Licenses · Specialised computer software · Up front rental payment · Initial cash float · Cash to cover trading for the first month or two until the payments start rolling in The list is by no means exhaustive but it will provide you with the first step to finding out how much it will cost you to start up. Who Said It Was Going To Be Easy? Getting a new business off the ground is difficult enough, even if you fully understand what it's going to cost you. Doing it with no idea is not a recipe for success. Devote some time to this exercise and you will be amply rewarded. Robert Warlow © Small Business Success  Small Business Success is a resource dedicated to helping small business owners be more successful. If you are looking for a regular flow of ideas and tips then subscribe to Small Business Success a free newsletter, which provides you with quick tips, ideas and articles. Visit smallbusinesssuccess.biz
The Problems with Partnerships
Websters dictionary describes a partnership as: a legal
relation existing between two or more persons contractually
associated as joint principals in a business or a
relationship resembling a legal partnership and usually
involving close cooperation between parties having specified
and joint rights and responsibilities.
That's the official definition. I describe it as absolute futility between consenting adults, who probably should have know better in the first place. So what exactly qualifies me to be so flippant about a business entity that millions of people of which are actively engaged? My experience in partnerships goes way back to my college days. I was assigned, or chose, various partners for projects and remember quite vividly what transpired. One of us, mainly me, would do most of the work and yet both of us got the credit. While the details may be sketchy, the outcome was crystal clear. Now fast forward to my adult life. I've had a few business partnerships and, once again, seemed to have been the dominant worker between the two of us. The concept is always wonderful. We decide to market a product or service and formulate a plan. I, possessing an advertising degree and background, will devise a promotional program while the other guy, I'll call Fred, will do whatever they do best. So we divide up the chores and set to work. I would do the requisite research, statistical analysis, cost projections, and media studies, while Fred was responsible for sales and product production. After a week or two, I am ready with my end and we meet to discuss our progress. Or lack of progress on one of our parts, I'm afraid. Its not that Fred didn't put out any effort, because he surely tried, its just that spending about ten minutes actually thinking about the product didn't equate to fulfilling his end. So, without being bitter or petty, I called him a lazy moron and asked him to do his fair share. He looked hurt, but understood my subtle point and agreed to do more. Lifting his little finger would be more, I gentle explained, and we set up another meeting a week hence. Its a week later, and a weak later on his end, once more. He still has done very little, blaming everything from the weather, the kid's needs, his wife's needs and the dogs needs. Fred says its been a rough week. I'm sympathetic and call him a really, really, lazy moron and feel that this partnership is in big trouble. After a few more weeks, we get a business divorce. Closer to the recent past, I formed another ill-advised partnership to start a new business from the ground up. This time, as a change of pace, I would be head of sales and responsible for contacting businesses. I would collect payments and my partner would produce the marketing material for each business. So, I began the selling and signed up several accounts. Each time I turned in a check, I asked about the promotional literature we were supposed to be supplying. Al, I'll call him, said he was working on it. This went on for months. Each time I promised the business some advertising, Al would come up with some excuse as to why he wasn't following up. We need more businesses. Its too expensive. I'm redesigning the program. My dog ate my homework. No wait, that last one was for my wife, who's a college professor. Anyway, you get my drift. Will you be amazed that we are no longer partners? Once again, one of us did all the work. Now you might say I didn't give the partners enough time or specific instructions. But you would be wrong. I was more than patient and, trust me, they knew exactly what they were doing, or, in most cases, not doing. My obvious advise at this point is to walk, no, run away from anyone asking you to join them in a partnership. It will only lead to frustration and disillusion before actual dissolving the whole affair. The hardest worker will always be resentful and feel like they have been taken advantage. So, what am I doing now, you ask? Why, I'm in a partnership of course! We run a home-based website called, The Nurse's Choice. It offers health information and has doctors referred by nurses. You're probably wondering how I could be so stupid and what kind of lesson am I trying to preach, when I don't even follow my own advice? I only have one excuse: my partner is my wife and watching my every move as I type this. Any questions?  Jeffrey Hauser was a sales consultant for the Bell System Yellow Pages for nearly 25 years. He graduated from Pratt Institute with a BFA in Advertising and has a Master's Degree from Monmouth University. He had his own advertising agency in Scottsdale, Arizona and ran a consulting and design firm, ABC Advertising. He has authored 6 books and a novel, "Pursuit of the Phoenix," available at amazon.com. His latest book is, "Inside the Yellow Pages." Currently, he is the Marketing Director for http://www.thenurseschoice.com, a Health Information and Doctor Referral site.
There are three skills that are very important for our
little ones to learn early in their lives.
1) Children need to be able to fall asleep on their own. Infants and toddlers who are always rocked to sleep, or breastfed or bottle fed to sleep, learn to depend upon others for falling asleep and do not develop their own falling asleep mechanism. This can cause much distress for parents who go through the nightly nightmare of trying to get their infant or toddler to sleep. Instead of always picking up and rocking a crying little one, which only reinforces the child's dependency on you putting him or her to sleep, try patting the child and then leaving for a few minutes. If you keep coming in, patting your child and reassuring him or her that you are here, eventually your child will stop depending upon you to rock, hold or feed him or her to sleep. 2) Children need to learn very young to play by themselves and amuse themselves. It is not healthy for children to be constantly dependent upon others, or upon the TV, to amuse them. I work with many adults who never learned to play by themselves. These adults feel lost when they are alone, having no idea what to do with themselves. Instead of turning to creative or learning opportunities, they may participate in addictions such as eating, drinking, drugs, TV, work, spending, and so on. When children learn to play by themselves at a young age, they tend to be more self-sufficient and creative as adult. 3) Children need to learn how to self-nurture. This means that they need to learn how to take some responsibility for their own feelings. Infants often self-soothe with their blanket, thumb, or pacifier. But as they grow older, they need to learn other ways of self-nurturing because they will not be taking their blanket or pacifier to school. Even children as young as 2 1/2 years old can learn to attend to their own feelings. You can help your young children start to take responsibility for their feelings by giving them a doll or stuffed animal that represents their emotions. You can tell them that the doll or stuffed animal is the baby inside them that has a lot of different emotions. When they are feeling sad or angry, they can learn to talk to the baby inside and find out what that baby needs from them or from you. As they get older, they can learn to connect their thoughts with their feelings. They can learn that if they judge themselves by telling themselves that they are bad or stupid or ugly, they will feel very badly. It is vitally important for all of us to connect our thoughts with our feelings. Most of us grew up believing that others caused all our good and painful feelings. If someone yelled at us or told us we were bad or stupid or ugly, we certainly felt badly, and if someone approved of us, we felt good. So we learned to believe that all our feelings are being caused by others. It is important for children to learn that their feelings are also affected by what they tell themselves and how they treat themselves. For example, if an older brother tells his younger brother that he is stupid, the younger child might start to tell himself he is stupid, without realizing that he is causing himself to feel very badly. By talking with his baby, he might realize he is treating himself in a way that is hurting him. He also might also be able to understand that his brother is not telling him the truth. The way he can learn to realize this is by learning to access his Source of Love and Truth. Small children can easily learn to open to a powerful Source of Love and Truth. You can ask them to imagine a wonderful friend, a guardian angel, or a fairy godmother. It is very easy for most children to imagine a wonderful being who is here to love them and guide them. They can be encouraged to ask questions of this loving being, such as Is it true that I am stupid? They can learn to bring through true and loving statements to themselves when they open to learning with their spiritual Guidance. These skills, learned early in life, will do much to foster personal responsibility in our children.  Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" and Healing Your Aloneness. She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or email her at margaret@innerbonding.com Phone Sessions Available
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20 Practical Ways to Have More
Happiness in Your Life
I know these work. Pick one
and try it today! Or maybe do one a week from now on...
1. Do something that you have dreaded and put off for ages because it's too scary 2. Forget all thoughts of trying to get more money or getting materials things of any kind in order to be happier. You need a better plan than this! 3. Change what you say to yourself in your head only think positive thoughts about yourself, other people, events, the past and the future. 4. Have something big to work towards. 5. If you're a nice person (unlike me) you might need to be a bit selfish sometimes in order to please yourself! 6. You spend 5 days a week at work, so maybe it would be good to get more happiness from it. Find ways to enjoy your work. 7. Spend some time with Nature today trees, water, views, walk, sit, whatever. 8. Don't bother to get good at anything. Instead, dabble in more things. 9. Get organised it's the foundation to build your happiness on, and being disorganised certainly can be annoying! 10. Holidays are good because we have the time to do the things we really enjoy. Get more time in your normal non-holiday life by getting rid of the filler and the bad stuff. This may mean saying No to some things! 11. Get your friends sorted get rid of the ones who aren't good enough, and spend more time with the great ones who you neglect 12. Live in the present, take time to smell the roses hard to do in this speeded up world, but important 13. Do something really childish today. A snowball fight would be good if it snows soon, otherwise what else can you think of? (send me suggestions!) 14. Find out what makes you happy and do more of it. What has made you happy in the last few weeks? 15. Get a happiness buddy with whom you can plan and make sure you actually do these kinds of things 16. Have or get a job where you are learning new things (obviously within your existing organisation!). Volunteer for new things within your current job. 17. Make someone else happy and it'll bounce back to you. 18. Do some form of exercise your body feeling good will make your mind feel good too. 19. Simplify your life, of both people and things and activities. 20. Learning new things, by reading or going on a training course. It feels good, and opens new avenues too. Chris Croft runs management training courses, mainly in the UK - see http://www.chriscrofttraining.co.uk. This article was one of his free monthly email tips - you can get addded to the free list by going to http://www.free-management-tips.co.uk The following articles were written by Saralee Sky, M.A. Ms Sky has 30+ years of experience with children, as a mother and grandmother, as a therapist for abused children, as the director of three nonprofit agencies serving children, and as co-owner and manager of Womb To Grow LLC and http://www.babynut.com. Babynut provides natural, organic and alternative products for pregnancy, adoption, childbirth, parenting, babies and toddlers. Why Did You Do That? The Most Fruitless Question A Parent Can Ask. By Saralee Sky Picture this: You walk in to your family room. A moment ago it was a peaceful scene, with your two children playing quietly. Now all is chaos. Your 1 year old is squalling, milk and cereal dripping down his face. The dog is happily lapping up the puddle of milk and cereal that made it to the floor. Your 4 year old is standing there, a guilty smile on her face, her milky spoon still in her hand. And what do you do? You look at your 4 year old and demand, Why did you DO that? And what does she say? I don't know. Or worse, Because. Here is the real answer: She probably doesn't know and you will never know. Maybe your 1 year old actually deserved it. Maybe your 4 year old wanted to see what the baby looked like with milk on his face. Maybe the devil told her to do it. Bottom line: it doesn't matter. Asking why is the most fruitless question you will ever ask. Frederick Perls father of Gestalt Therapy states in his book Gestalt Therapy Verbatim, I know you want to ask why to get rationalization or explanation. But the why at best leads to clever explanation, never to an understanding.He goes on to say that every event has many causes. All kinds of factors and experiences come together to create the moment that is now and the person that is your child at this moment in time. Give up on why. Trying to pinpoint the motive(s) of your child's behavior is a futile exercise, and one guaranteed to cause you grief. Look instead at the now and the how. Now is all that truly exists. The past is gone, the future yet to be. How describes the structure of Now, and includes behavior and everything else that is happening in the moment. Let's go back to my opening example. The Now you encounter is your 1 year old with milk and cereal and tears on his face, your dog lapping up the mess and your 4 year old standing there with her spoon in her hand. It is definitely her cereal all over your 1 year old. A better question to ask is, What happened here? In Gestalt Therapy theory, we always respond to the most pressing unfinished situation first. As I see it, the crying baby with the milk and cereal all over him is the most pressing need to be attended to. Pick him up, clean him off and comfort him. All the while listen to your 4 year old if indeed she is speaking at all. Give her a towel to help you clean up the mess on the floor, but do not yell at her. Use this time to calm yourself and everyone else down. When you are finished cleaning up and your 1 year old is calmer, look directly at your 4 year old and ask her again to tell you how the milk and cereal got all over the baby. She may tell you a story about how the baby was bugging her or crying or grabbing for the cereal. Perhaps she will even tell you she got mad and poured the cereal over the babys head. Maybe not. You are not looking for justification here, just a recapping of what happened when you were out of the room. If she is unable or unwilling to talk, do not force the issue. At this point you can talk to her about using words when she is angry or calling to you for help if the baby is bugging her. You can also tell her that pouring cereal over her brother's head is never an option. If it is blatantly her fault, a 3-4 minute time-out may be necessary. What is really of no real importance is the why. Her actual behavior is now the most important unfinished situation to deal with, not why she did what she did. She is testing out her world and trying out new behaviors and you are there to help her learn what the acceptable limits are in any given situation. Many valuable minutes, hours, and sleepless nights are wasted on trying to assign motives to children's (and adult's) behavior. She's jealous she's angry she's mean she's manipulative she's tired. Any or all may apply. The motive is the why. The behavior is the how. It is not up to you to discern the true motive and then pass judgment upon that motive. Ignore the motive and focus on the behavior. You have no right to tell her what to feel. You do have the right to correct her behavior. See the difference? Why should you do what I tell you to do? Because.... The nurse was persistent. She reminded me of a Scottish terrier, which once it finds what it's looking for, growls at it and refuses to let go. "Trust me, it's in your own interests. Every man should come to see us at least once a year." "Okay, I'll think about it." That was like a red rag to a bull. "No, don't THINK about it. Just do it." Then she hit me with a guilt trip. "You should think yourself lucky. Many men would be glad of this opportunity! I'll put you down for Thursday morning at 9.15." There was no arguing with that . . . So what was all the fuss about? Well, I hadn't attended my doctor's surgery for over a year, so they thought it was time I was reined in. They run a 'Well Man's Clinic' these days and they're very proud of it. When I got there the nurse was still shaking her head and 'tut-tutting' like a mother hen. Again she hit me with her irrefutable logic. "You put your car in for a check every year, don't you? So what's more important, your body or your car?" And believe it or not, the 'overhaul' was really quite simple. She asked a few questions, ticked a few boxes, did some routine tests like checking my blood pressure, then - ouch! - took a sample of blood from a vein in my left arm. Not a word of sympathy! I got the distinct impression she'd had all she could take from men who never think about their health, but who create a fuss when they walk through the clinic door. "This will be divided into smaller samples,'" she said matter-of-factly, "then sent off for analysis." The next part really impressed me. The nurse reeled off a whole list of things that would be tested from that one blood sample: thyroid activity, glucose levels, PSA level (which measures prostate activity), cholesterol level, blood count . . . and so on. So far, so good. A few days later I was summoned back to the surgery for the results. I must admit, that day I was more than a little worried and had to force myself to keep the appointment. But I came away walking on air! The results were normal. My blood pressure was as it should be, there was no sign of diabetes or high cholesterol. All fears had been groundless. I felt great. Yet when I reached home, my heart was heavy. You see, my own Dad died over ten years ago. His was a slow and painful death from prostate cancer. It deeply affected us all, but more especially his grandchildren, who adored him. I'll never forget the sad look on the face of the consultant as he told my mother: "If only we'd caught this sooner... It needn't have come to this, you know." If only, if only ... If only there had been a 'Well Man's Clinic' in my Dad's day. If only he'd had the sense to have a medical check up every so often. But who am I to criticise? My Dad was a typical man of his generation: - ignore health problems and they'll go away! So what was my excuse? Despite my Dad's experience, despite the fact that I want to be here for my own family, for the children I teach and the ones I write my books for, I had to be practically dragged, kicking and screaming, for a routine check-up. Apparently I'm not alone. It would appear there are millions of men around the globe who HAVE clinics and check- ups readily available, but who won't go for a simple 'physical'. They'll wait until problems are far advanced - and in many cases too far advanced! Believe me, it feels great to know that your health is fine and that if any subsequent tests reveal a problem, it will be in the early stages and can be treated easily and effectively. I now feel like shouting the good news from the roof tops - but I'll have to make do with the internet: Fellow Dads, get your heads out of the sand! Bite the bullet! Gather up your courage! Use whatever metaphor or image you like, but take yourselves down for 'a physical' and look after your health. Follow the example of our wives and partners, who show sound common sense when it comes to health matters. You owe it to yourself. But more importantly, you owe it to your loved ones ... Happy Parenting!  Worried about your family? Frank McGinty is an internationally published author and teacher. To further develop your parenting confidence and encourage your kids to be all they can be, go to: http://www.frank-mcginty.com/peace-formula.html The Story of My First Home Birth Saralee SkyIt's time to get back to where it all started, for me at least. My first pregnancy and my first home birth is what started me on the path that led to the creation of Babynut. It's a story about rediscovering the power within me and all women to create, sustain, and birth a new being in the world. It was 1974 and I was 25 when I became pregnant for the first time. I was pretty much on my own, living in the coastal mountains of northern California. I was living alone but near my friends in a converted chicken shack! I was waiting for a road to be built to the 40-acre parcel of land I just purchased so I could build a house and live there. I was part of the back to the land movement that was happening in the early 70's. I owned a treadle sewing machine, a sleeping bag and a VW van. Get the picture? When I decided to have the baby, I knew that I, too, needed to do a lot of growing and developing to become the mother I truly wanted to be. As with all important decisions in my life, once I committed to being a mother to this baby, people and opportunities began to manifest to support my choice. I met a woman who posed for the pictures in a book about prenatal yoga. She gave me the book to use and practice the poses. The book was Prenatal Yoga and Natural Childbirth by Jeannine Parvati Baker. (Learn more about this book in the Parenting Excerpts article.) Doing the poses every day, I began to tune in to the being who was growing inside me. I felt so connected to this being and not just physically. I knew how dependent he was upon me for his very life, but I also knew that a central part of him was his and his alone. I was honored to carry his life inside me. I met a spiritual teacher guru from India who gave me a mantra and told me to repeat the mantra and rub my belly at the same time. As the baby grew, so did I. I was scared but I also began to feel within me the power and strength that was inherently female. I felt connected to all women down through the ages who had conceived and nurtured life. I felt so lucky to be able to experience this incredible closeness with another being. I never wanted this pregnancy to end! The baby's father, Richard, and I were no longer a couple, but were still friends. He wanted to be a part of the baby's life as well. He moved up from San Francisco three months before the baby was born. By this time a group of us were camping out in tents on my friend's land. On my doctor's advice, I toured the local hospital and was appalled at the delivery room which was an operating theatre, full of bright lights and a table with stirrups. The miracle of birth was discarded in favor of a medical procedure. Birth was something that was done to a woman and baby, not an event in which the mother and baby were the main participants. I knew I would only go there in the direst emergency, but I wasn't sure how to go about giving birth outside a hospital. My doctor said home births were possible, but he would not be able to assist me unless I gave birth in the hospital. Another back-to-the-lander was a nurse named Sherry, who was learning to be a midwife. She and another midwifery student, Susan, offered to support me through my pregnancy and assist with a home birth. They would be accompanied by their teacher when I went into labor, who was an experienced midwife. And I had friends and Richard who were there to help in any way they could. So it was settled. We'd do it at home, but home was now a tent on my friend's land, adjacent to my 40-acre parcel. I still had no road. I had hoped to be on my own land by the time the baby was born, but time was growing shorter and I was growing bigger - by the day. A month before the baby was due, Richard and I decided to rent an apartment in a nearby town with running water and electricity. We'd move up to the land after the baby was born and we would have the time to build a little cabin. As the time for the birth grew near I was increasingly uncomfortable. I knew it was nature's way of saying this, too, must end. On August 27th right on my due date! I went into labor. When labor began I was blown away by how much the contractions hurt! I felt betrayed by Dr. Bradley who described contractions in his book about natural childbirth as waves of intensity. All my preparations went out of my head. I was scared and not at all sure I could do this! The midwives kept in touch by phone, and as the contractions increased from 25 minutes apart to 15 minutes apart - they decided to come on over to our little apartment in the redwoods. As soon as they arrived I asked them for something to numb this pain!!! They smiled and said they didn't have anything and helped me to relax and refocus. I settled in for what was to be a 12-hour athletic event! The midwifery teacher was away in Grass Valley on another birth. Sherry, Susan and I would have to do this without her. We were breaking new ground and recreating an ancient pattern all at the same time. The major lesson for me during my labor was all about learning to open up and let this being go, just like the Egyptian Pharaoh with Moses and the people of Israel. Since it was a home birth, friends drifted in and by the time the baby was born, about a dozen people were on hand. The first stage of labor proceeded slowly, with contractions going from 25 minutes apart to 15 minutes to five minutes to three to two. The pain was intense and the rest in between contractions glorious. Eight hours into labor I entered into transition. Words of advice don't argue with a woman in transition! Contractions were doubling up no more delightful rest periods. And the pain was worse, though how this could be possible I really don't know! This lasted a few hours. I write this now matter of factly, with the distance of 28+ years. This baby wanted out and I could either get in the way or open up and let this baby go! My dear friend Ira helped me through the toughest contractions by holding a picture of my guru in front of me to give me strength. I suffered through this situation mightily until I finally got it and let go and opened up. And then it was time to push. Pushing is when all the power of being a woman is concentrated into gut wrenching growls and muscles bearing down and energy pouring into and out of the womb the tiny womb now grown huge and swollen with the life it must release. I pushed and I grunted and I bore down for over an hour and then glory of glories the head began to crown! This is the time when you're supposed to stop pushing and let the midwives help stretch the vaginal opening so you don't tear. Forget it! The midwives were rookies and I was on a huge birthing, pushing roll. I pushed that head out! And there he was, just his head was born and his eyes were open and he was looking around at everyone in the room, I swear! (After the birth and 20+ stitches later, I would honestly not recommend anyone pushing the baby out like I did!) A few more contractions and there he was, all 8 pounds, 3 ounces of him, brand new baby and wise, ageless being. They put his wet, slithering body on my belly and I laughed and cried with every ounce of my spent, emotional self. This, indeed, was a peak experience. I was alive in every atom of my physical self. I was connected with every other atom in the universe. I did it! We did it! We were a great team: me and the baby, with a great supporting cast of the midwives, Richard and all our friends. If we could do this we could do anything! I believe pregnancy and childbirth is a metaphor for what we will have to face, endure and learn during parenthood. The way the baby is carried in the womb and birthed will give you insights into how he/she will be as a child and how you will relate to each other. But that's another article! Quick Weight Loss Tips
Early
Breast Cancer Detection
Spiritual and Emotional Money Goals:
The Keys to a Financially Free Future
Are you setting the right money goals? Most people believe having more money would mean having more security. Right? Wrong. Having more money is only one goal we need to achieve in order to be financially free. Increasing our internal ability for abundance is the goal we need to meet first. The problem with only pursuing wealth externally and not internally is that our hidden, limiting beliefs about money can wipe out our art savings, our line of credit at the bank, and the $5 we borrowed from a friend to put gas in our car. Having more security is not something that can be determined or created by how much we earn, how much we save, or how much we own. Security is an internal barometer of how much we trust ourselves to be able to handle difficult circumstances. In order to do this, we must set result-oriented goals (the vacation, the new house, etc) as well as clean up any negative internal programming we have around money. Lets try an example. Say that you do get that raise, or get some unexpected windfall of cash. You think your all set. And then in a matter of 30 to 90 days, you're back to where you started. What happened? One of two things: Either you have spent your cash on something you thought would bring you more security, or, in the case of a raise, you have also raised the level of your debt so that while you are now making more money, you are also spending more money. How do you know what your internal money goals are? The first thing to do here is to look at your relationship with money for the past 10 years. What patterns do you see creeping out? Are their any serious financial challenges? Is there a pattern of high peaks and low valleys? What does your money history tell you about your internal relationship to money? Set A Goal To Create A NEW Relationship With Money Then take this information you have just gathered and consider it. Develop 3-4 internal money goals that will reflect a change in your relationship to money. If you've had a love-hate relationship for example, what can you do to change that? Here are a few examples to get you started: Forgiving yourself for past money mistakes or bad decisions Building your level of trust and deserving with money Having your own relationship to money instead of your parents Eliminating money patterns that produce scarcity thinking By creating result-oriented goals around money combined with spiritual and emotional-level goals around money, we can begin to exact change in our relationship to money and have MORE of it! Bernie Cardell makes things happen. He has experience in coaching all types of people including gifted and creative people, business owners, executives, teenagers, actors, board members, healthcare practitioners, and just about anyone you can think of. Through his experience in coaching, working for Insight Seminars Worldwide, The Love and Logic Institute, and The New Warrior Project, he has had the opportunity to coach hundreds of people through confusion to large and lasting change. For more information on Bernie and personal coaching, please visit his site My Creative Prosperity at http://www.mycreativeprosperity.com Also check out Bernie's great teleclasses on Prosperity for Creating Thinkers and Under earners and listen to a FREE class at http://www.mycreativeprosperity.com/FinancialFreedom05.html
Fear of Change? How to Easily Overcome it and Increase
Your Confidence
When facing a change, most people invariably feel insecure, lost and overwhelmed. Still, do you agree with me that life without any form of changes would not only be monotonous but also inconceivable? Afterall, one aspect of why we all love living is the excitement and anticipation of the unexpected in life! Here is a thought for you. What do you say to yourself after having had a really bad day? If you're like the majority of people, you'll probably be happy it is over when you go to bed. Maybe saying something like this to yourself: "Phew I'm darn glad, this day is over wonder what tomorrow will bring!" Hoping for a change. Do you see what I mean? Every single day brings certain form of changes into our lives. In fact these small changes, are crucial. For they offer new opportunity and create room for adjustments. So why are many people afraid of facing changes, if these are there to help us? In psychology there are a number of reasons that can render a person fearful of a change. But I am not about to launch into a psycho-debate on the dysfunctionality of the mind here. What I want to do, is to show you how you can quickly and easily banish those fears and enjoy a sense of freedom and inner security. Fact 1. : People who are passionate about growing are never afraid of a change. To them change is simply another way of taking charge and living fully. Irrelevant of their positions in life, they know that it is of utmost importance to keep an open mind and be alert in spirit. For nothing in life ever stays the same. Fact 2. You can't wish a change away. Your life would become more engaging and bountiful, when you can let go of your fear. So without any further ado. Build a strong relationship with your fear When a new change comes your way, tell yourself, what it is that you're afraid of and look at the fear. You may even want to write it down. There's something magical about writing things down. Feel like you're confiding in someone else, even if it's only on paper. Once you face your fear, you'll find that it begins to lose its power over you. Instead of you becoming enslaved, you now have the upper hand. Play the devil's advocate One reason for our fear of change is often because we feel inadequate. We feel that we are incapable of handling a new situation. Should this be the case with you, simply see yourself in the worst case scenario. Make yourself comfortable and allow your mind to re-live the various stages of what you fear at least twice. The third time around let the fear fade away like a smoke. See yourself emerging from it wholesome, peaceful and invincible. Feel the joy of being in charge and the triumph of knowing the fear is only a shadow. Reclaim your inborn power I know how frustrating it can be, if you're trying to move forward and find yourself being held back by fear. Once you've re-emerged feeling invincible, you want to use that momentum to turn things around. To do this, ask yourself this question: "what simple action can I take here and now to start moving toward my new direction?". Wait for the answer to surface. Then do it without stalling. Should you get multiple ideas, just apply the one you feel comes easiest to you first. Moving later on to the other ideas after you've completed the previous ones. Test the waters for lurking "gremlins" To be certain that you're now embarking on a steady path to overcoming your fear of change, do the following. Subject yourself knowingly to your uncomfortable feelings about changes from time to time. This is to help you recognize the lurking fear i.e. the "gremlins". Observe how you react: Do you immediately shut down or do you find yourself trying to be creative with the feelings? The more constructive you can deal with your uneasy feelings around change, the quicker you'll be able to move past your fear of change. When in a dilemma, I firmly believe in asking for inner guidance. If you find yourself still struggling with fear, don't feel dejected, pray for help. It works wonder! Laugh a lot, be joyful and give yourself to others. A heart full of joy and trust has no room for fear. Take the time to integrate these steps into your life. Before long, you'll find yourself getting more and more excited about new possibilities. The more you're able to connect with and activate your innate power, the less susceptible you'll be to fear of change. Kunbi Korostensky, N.D., Psychotherapist and Certified Life Changer Coach TM is specialised in supporting people through various life changes. She helps them become more confident with their change and to use the change to bring more joy and happiness into their lives. Sign up for her monthly ezine at http://www.embracingchanges.com or mailto:kunbi@embracingchanges.com.
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